The Avon Lady Surviving Swine Flu Day 4 of Captivity

Day 4. The sun was coming up and I opened my eyes. I waited for my head to start hurting...then realized the headache was gone...but what was that smell? It seemed so familiar; but I couldn't quite place it. I sniffed the sheets...I sniffed the phone...I sniffed my water bottle. (No...I didn't sniff my bootie!) All of a sudden it hit me...STERILE! I am sooooo sick of STERILE! On the nightstand...one large pump of Purell! On the dresser...one large container of Clorex wipes! On the bathroom counter...one extra large spray bottle of Lysol with bleach! EVERYTHING IS STERILE! I got out of bed. Put on my sterile mask, snapped on my sterile gloves and slipped on one dirty bootie. I just knew when I hobbled down the hall to the kitchen to get my coffee...the air mattress would be waiting and smiling at me propped up against the dining room table! I poured my coffee; wiped the coffee pot handle and counter with a STERILE Clorex wipe and walked away.
No headache...and I could breathe! I may have forgotten to mention that I woke up on Day 3 with a fever blister the size of Rhode Island. My dear friend, Cynthia, was willing to go to the store and leave fever blister medicine hanging on my front door. (I'm pretty sure she used a pole and hung it from 6 feet away!) It helped some...but I needed the big guns. I waited till 8 to call the Dr. to find out when I could step foot outside the house. Now, I was sure that my question for my Dr. was just as important to her as it was to me...so I waited with my contaminated phone in hand (yes, it's marked with green tape and it's the only phone I'm allowed to use). 8:30 no return call. 9:00 no return call. Impatient and in need of something that didn't smell fresh, I decided to color my hair. I figured I'd have 25 minutes to let the color set and I'd certainly hear back from my doctor within that time frame. I hobbled back to the "sick person" bathroom; slipped off my STERILE gloves, slipped on my other gloves (provided by Loreal) and proceded to mix the color. I was bent over sideways trying to cover the gray over my ears when the phone rang. I looked at the caller ID and realized it was my Dr. I set down the bottle and still bending over sideways answered the phone with my Loreal gloved hand. Christy, the nurse, is very polite and calm as she tells me that if my fever has been gone for more than 24 hours, I can take a short trip with a STERILE mask and a bottle of hand sanitizer. She reminds me that "this thing" is very contagious and please be very cautious. I hang up the phone with a singing heart! Not only am I going to be allowed to step out of the "sick person" room...I'm going outside! YIPPEE! I finished my hair...took my shower...put on a little AVON lady makeup and got dressed. I was thrilled! I was going to the store! I grabbed the beautiful "travel size" bottle of Purell...snapped on my chic Sterile gloves and opened the front door. There was a lilt in my hobble as I made my way to the elevator!
I stepped into the store's parking lot with a smile behind my sterile mask! As I walked to the front of the store, I noticed people staring at me. I caught a glimpse of myself in the window and saw what they saw! One dirty bootie and one STERILE MASK! OH MY GOD...I was one of them! You know...the people you've seen in the store or PO who are wearing a surgical mask and refuse to make eye contact! Now, whenever I've seen them on my outings in the past; I'd think to myself, "What are they afraid of? Do they think they're better than my germs?" Is that what they were thinking as they stared at me? I grabbed a cart and hobbled into the store. People stepped away as I approached. (Maybe I should try this at Costco...people never move out of the way). Small children stared and whispered as I passed. I quickly shopped (avoiding eye contact) and rushed to the check out line. As I'm in line...I feel the need to explain to the cashier why I'm wearing a STERILE mask and a bootie. Of course, I couldn't tell her I have the Swine Flu; so I just paid and avoided eye contact. I hobbled to the car with a heavy heart! MY glorious outing had turned into a trip of shame. I walked in my front door...slipped off my dirty bootie and hugged the air mattress. This STERILE invironment suddenly smelled pretty good!
Rosie

The Avon Lady Surviving Swine Flu Day 3 of Captivity

Day 3 I wake up with just a slight headache. At least my head doesn't feel like it weighs 50 pounds anymore. I follow my rountine. Roll out of bed, put on my mask, slip on my bootie and snap on my gloves. Still hobble down the hall to get my coffee. Say "good morning" to the air mattress.
I enjoy my coffee without my mask before waking Michael. For the past few days, Michael has had plans to go to the mall with some friends. Usually that involves me driving. Well...guess who can't go anywhere? Immediately after opening his eyes, Michael says,
"Oh crap, it's mall day. Can I still go?" I reminded him I couldn't drive and asked him how he was going to get there. The texting began. A few minutes later he told me that he could ride with KAT. "Who's driving", I ask. "Her Mom is driving the truck." "Does that mean you'll be riding in the back?" "No, I think they have a back seat." Alrighty then. I realize I don't have any cash to give Michael to go to the mall. I dug through my purse (and sorry Diana) gave Michael $15 in quarters. (See Pearl...I carry more than Avon brochures in my bag!) As soon as we finished counting the coins...Michael says "I have to go...they're here!" Away he goes. I walk out onto the lanai as they pull away and see MICHAEL AND KAT RIDING IN THE BACK OF THE TRUCK! Now this is when the Swine Flu left my head and went straight to the umbilicle cord! What could I do? He was going to be thrown from the back of the truck and I couldn't do anything to stop it! My blood pressure rose and my mind raced. "Calm down", I said to myself. Give him 25 minutes to get to the mall or be thrown from the truck then text him. I watched the clock...hello...I didn't have anything else to do! 25 minutes after he left...I texted "R U there yet". Reply..."No. We're waiting for Kat's friend to get ready. He's driving us. Don't worry...he's 22." DON'T WORRY? OF COURSE I'M NOT GOING TO WORRY! I mean, my 15 year old son is out with a 17 year old girl named KAT being driven to the mall by a 22 year old that I have never met! What's to worry about?! I did the only logical thing and called Tom. "Honey, can you pick up Michael from the Mall after you get off work?" Those of you that know Tom well; know that he basically lacks fear of anything...however...he does have a healthy fear of Swine Flu victims. "Sure I can. I'll just stop and pick up dinner on the way home from the mall. You just figure out what you'd like and I'll make it happen." (At least that's what it sounded like to me.) Now I love cooking but I hate deciding what to fix for dinner. It's no different when it's take out. I kept thinking of restaurants between the Mall and home and tried to figure out what the guys would want as much as I did. "Moons over my hammy" finally came to mind. Melted cheese, scrambled eggs and ham between golden brown grilled bread with hash browns. Finally...something without peanut butter! I told Tom since they were at the Mall already; they should eat there then just bring mine home. I closed my eyes and pictured the gooey cheese, fluffy eggs and warm sweet ham. The phone rang and interrupted my dream. "Honey...we're at IHOP...they don't have "Moons over my hammy! The waitress said that's Denny's". Disappointment as thick as peanut butter filled my veins! "Let me look at the menu on line and I'll call you back." IHOP...I DON'T WANT IHOP! I scrolled through the menu and finally called Tom back deciding to settle for a sampler. NO FLUFFY EGGS, NO WARM SWEET HAM AND NO GOOEY CHEESE! I wiped the tears from my eyes (then burned the tissuse) as I waited for my dinner. Tom and Michael arrived with "Moons over my hammy"! They went the extra mile with their labor of love. My heroes. (At least that's what I think happened!)
Will write more later.
Rosie

The Avon Lady Surviving Swine Flu Day 2 of Captivity

On Day 2 of Captivity I woke up at 5 AM...put on my mask, slipped on > my bootie and snapped on my gloves. I hobbled down the hall to get my > coffee. As I was pouring my coffee, I spied the full size fully > inflated air mattress propped up against the dining room table. (Tom's > bed for the next week). It didn't even phase me...I mean, I wasn't > eating anyway so what's the big deal? I went back to bed...watched > old crummy movies and read old magazines. About 11, I decided I > really did need to try to eat something. I "intercomed" Michael and > asked him if he'd make me a couple of ritz cracker sandwhiches with > peanut butter. Now, my idea is take a cracker...spread a /little > /peanut butter on it and put another cracker on top. A few minutes > later Michael walked in with cracker sandwhiches with peanut butter > about 6 inches thick. Keep in mind I don't have energy to chew or > swallow so just looking at that much peanut butter was enough to > almost do me in. I couldn't waste his labor of love; so I took baby > bites and managed to get them down. Next time I think I'll ask for > something with chocolate~Open-mouthed smiley emoticon After eating my > delicious ritz cracker brunch; I took my plate to the kitchen. The > counter and sink held dirty dishes just calling my name. * I ignored > them! *I called, "Michael, if you'll unload the clean dishes so I > don't have to touch them...I'll load the dirty ones." "Not a problem, > Mom. Just give me a minute." A little while later I went back out > and the dishes were still calling my name. I said, "Michael, you > haven't unloaded the dish washer yet." He kindly handed me the box of > latex gloves and said, "Here Mom. Now you can unload them without > touching them."Disappointed smiley emoticon> I guess labors of love only go so far!> Will write more later.> Rosie

Sruviving the Swine Flu Day 1 of Captivity

I'm finally awake enough to sit at the computer for a few minutes and write. For those of you who don't know, I tested positive for Swine Flu yesterday. Went to the ER on Saturday for broken toe and someone couldn't read the sign that said "If you're experiencing flu like symptons, please inform us". A special thanks to that person from me! So I'm sitting at the computer with Clorex wipes to disenfect everything I touch before leaving the room.
Yesterday was Day 1 of Captivity. Tom did some research of the computer about living with a Swine Flu victim. As I was resting peacefully (which is pretty much all I've done since Saturday), Tom and Michael barged into the room wearing gloves and carrying containers of wipes and spray bottles of disinfectant. Tom handed me (from 6 feet away) the packet of information he had printed off on the Swine Flu. Keep in mind, there were several sections that were highlighted.
One section that was highlighted was washing laundry that had come in contact with the "sick person". Tom informed me he was going to do the laundry. Now you have to understand that the packet said to wash everything in HOT water and dry in a HOT dryer...hello...have they never heard of Spandex Blend?? As Tom stood folding the laundry at the foot of the bed (again 6 feet away) I looked at my favorite jeans from Brazil and wondered if there is possibly a pigmy family anywhere close by that needs hand me downs. Yep...my favorite shorts and my favorite jeans may now fit Diana's kids! Thanks honey.
I can't wait to see what today holds in store. I'm going back to bed now (after wiping down all serfaces that I've touched) but will write more later. Take care and can't wait to be around people again!
Rosie
PS For those of you with Avon orders...delivery will be sometime the beginning of next week. I won't breathe on your merchandise...promise!