I really need a "cruise" cut!

The Adventures of The Avon Lady Continues … I Need A “Cruise” Cut!
I decided I needed a new hair cut for my Avon cruise to the Bahamas. I called my “new hairdresser” to set up an appointment. (My old hair dresser is unavailable for however long it takes to work off speeding tickets on a motor cycle in the local correctional facility!)
I arrive at the appointment with Avon books in hand. As I wait, I browse through the brochure trying to decide what Jenny, my new hair dresser, would like. I know she likes handbags…so I decide to make sure my Avon Butler “Organizer” Bag is organized before I show it to her. I carefully tuck and hide anything that should not be in a pouch so my bag would look like the one in the book. You have to understand one thing… if I get a large bag…I’ll find stuff to fill it with! I looked in my bag. One pocket was full of receipts…OK…that’s not organized! One long pocket holds my wallet that is so full of receipts the snap will no longer snap…OK…that doesn’t look very organized either! I carefully fold the receipts (that I need to put in file folders in the office at home) and tuck them inside a zippered pouch and “discreetly” eat the rest. MUCH BETTER! I make sure everything visible has a home before I show the bag to Jenny.
She finishes with the girl before me and calls me over to her chair. “Jenny, before we get started I’ve got to show you this new “Butler Bag” from Avon! I love it. It has a compartment for everything so you’ll never have to search for your keys or phone again! (The receipts gurgled in my stomach as I spoke!) I proudly opened my bag to show Jenny.
“It’s really nice…but I don’t really carry a big bag. When I get a big bag…I always find stuff to fill it! I try to stick with smaller bags.” My Safeway receipt curled around my intestines as I listened to her. So much for the bag!
“What do you want to do with your hair?” she asked.
“I want to do something different. I’m tired of just taking my hair and wrapping it around and clipping it behind my head! I just earned a cruise to the Bahamas from Avon and I want something easy yet elegant.” I told her. She started jumping up and down (scissors in hand) and singing something Jamaican from Bob Marley! OMG…she was more excited about the cruise than I was! How much of that was excitement for me… and how much was sucking up to get a big tip? It’s hard to say. I mean, what she had to say was soooooo true! She told me how awesome I was and how proud I should be. She said I was the best Avon Lady she’d ever met (although she’s never ordered from me)! She told me how much I deserved the cruise and how pampered I would be! As she talked, I looked in the mirror in front of me. My hair seemed to have much more volume than it did when I sat in the chair just minutes ago! I looked again…and MY HEAD WAS SWOLLEN!!!!!!! OK…so it felt good hearing all the things she had to say…but would my haircut cost more now because my hair was “bigger?”
She guided me and my “big” head over to the sink for a wash. As she washed my hair she massaged my scalp and neck. I relaxed as the warm water cascaded over me and Jenny released the tension from every tight muscle from my neck up. Does she always do this or was she doing this to shrink my head so I could hold it up straight to make it easier for her to cut?
As I sat back down in the chair, Jenny asked once again “What do you want to do with your hair?”
“I’m thinking I might want to lighten it up a bit and maybe do bangs.”
“NO! I don’t think bangs are a good idea”, Jenny said. She was probably right. Every time I’ve cut my hair shorter in the past and went for bangs…I ended up looking like a Wookie from Star Trek! She looked again and said “Maybe you’re right. Long straight bangs to the side would be very sexy!”
“Whatever you think Jenny! I totally trust you!” I said.
Jenny focused on my “Cruise Cut”. I watched in the mirror as she pulled out the tools she would need to make it the perfect cut. I made a mental note of everything I would need to make my hair look just the way she did (that is, of course… if I even liked it!) Hair dryer…check… Large round brush….check… Smaller round brush…check… Flat brush…check…Diffuser…check…Attachment for blowing your hair straight…check. I HAD EVERYTHING AT HOME!!!!!! THIS WOULD BE EASY!!!
My brain still strummed a melody from the massage and Jenny supplied the lyrics. “Always remember that wet hair is your friend.” OH MY GOD!!! That was beautiful!!!!!!! Where did Jenny find the lyrics to match the massage melody going through my head? I’ll never forget those words!
I watched in the mirror as she turned the blow dryer on high and used the large round brush to begin styling. I took detailed mental notes. Pull the hair up and aim the air at the roots. Take the dryer away and pull the brush to the ends and under. Start at the base and work up. Turn the dryer on low and attach the attachment for straight hair. Slowly pull the “bangs” to the side with the straight brush then aim the air backwards to finish off with the smaller round brush. Go back to the large round brush…set the dryer on medium and curl the sides towards the back. Wow…there’s no way I can forget this! Finish off with a cream to tame any wild strands and a little light spray to keep everything in place. Jenny finished my style and handed me the hand mirror to look at the cut from different angles. My hair glistened and swayed as I turned to check out my “cruise” cut.
Who was that girl in the mirror? Every strand was in place and hair gleaming. OMG…It was me!
I thanked her for giving me such an elegant yet easy cut for my cruise. She offered to loan me her curling iron to take along on the cruise. I didn’t need her curling iron…I knew exactly how to style my new “do”! I tipped her extravagantly and left the shop.
I walked in my front door and Tom raved about the cut. (Michael said I looked like Mrs. Brady on the Brady bunch!) I agreed with Tom. My hair was awesome and it was sooooooooo easy to style! I felt like a new person as I cooked dinner and did my other “womanly” chores. It’s absolutely amazing what a new style can do for your attitude!
The next morning as I showered, I looked forward to my new style. This was great! I finally had bangs again that would look sexy and elegant! Getting ready for my new style… I dug in drawers and cabinets and pulled out all the tools I needed. Large round brush…check…smaller round brush…flat brush…check…blow dryer…check…diffuser…check…attachment for drying straight hair…check. YIPPEE…everything I needed! I looked at the “tools” on the counter then looked in the mirror. Jenny’s lyrics came back to me…”Always remember wet hair is your friend”…WHAT IN THE HELL DID THAT MEAN??????????? I looked in the mirror and my hair was starting to dry! NOOOOOOOOO! My wookie bangs were taunting me…”Always remember wet hair is your friend!” WHERE WAS THAT CREAM??????? WHERE WAS MY “CRUISE” CUT???
I took out the dryer and set it on high. I picked up the large round brush and began at the top. Wait a minute. Did Jenny begin at the top or the bottom? I tried to remember what my “massage” brain saw! I took the smaller round brush and started again at the bottom….NOOOOOOOOO…my ends were curling up! “OK…calm down…you can do this…it’s easy!” I said to myself. Take the attachment for drying “straight hair” and blow it upwards on medium. That should do it! I slowly pulled the brush away and looked in the mirror. Wookie bangs were tightly curled down…sides were sticking straight out and the ends of my hair were flipping up and forwards! WHERE WAS MY CRUISE CUT???? I took my Avon hair cream and applied it to my bangs to “lengthen” them. I wrapped the rest of my hair around and clipped it behind my head. As I looked at my reflection in the mirror…I figured out the moral of this story is… “Always remember that wet hair is your friend”… followed by “WHAT IN THE HELL DOES THAT MEAN?”
Write more later.
Rosie